Easter

Ok ok.... I spent 2 weeks without alcohol. Was enough for me!! Had a great weekend. HAPPY EASTER for u all. Went to a party, clubbing, meetings. Conclusion met some amazing people. I deleted my fb account!!! yeahhh FREEDOM! Went to torquay for lunch last friday. I have some pics on my instagram account is mimesaez and being reading, drawing, well I dont know what more! a lot of things basically. I start to feel sick... cold. Shit how many times I will get sick this winter???!!!!!!! Ok nothing more to tell.... not really on a creative day, sorry... XOXO -A-

Cleaning plan

Last weekend was really bad... I went down the hill really bad. It was Friday at I had to met a friend to do something in the city we didn’t have any specific plans but I knew it will include some drinks, so... I thought ‘well I am going to drink so I go with good spirit and in a really good mood’ it was 3 pm I drank by myself for an hour and a half... I can’t really remember anything after Maz woke me up around 4 am next day. Yeah ... and I really don’t want to remember, I was a mess.  As everybody knows when I drink wayyy too much I don’t have the same symptoms of hung over as a normal person. I feel physically good but really really depress like with suicidal thought. I feel trap in time and sadness. That day I went to take dinner with my friend Tanzina. That was a really good idea, she distracts me and I change my mood a bit. SOOOOO ... I will not have a drink for a month this means that until 5 may I can’t have any drink. I can beat that!!  

Back home I lost 7 kilos; I’m not fat at all. I’m now 47 kilos, same weight when I was 15 years old (I’ll be 27 in a couple of days) really skinny, People tell me all the time, but I never really could see that, I thought ‘I’m really ok’ but two days ago I went w Maz another girl to H&M and just for fun I decided to try a dress... I never see full body in underwear in front of a mirror... oh God, I’m a bag of bones and literally you can see every bone, extremely not sexy.

That same night I was seen some old pics of me in Facebook, I miss my extra kilos... I really do. Worst part is when I had that weight I hated it. I never really comfortable with my weight, no matter if people say I look good. God, can somebody punch me in the head??

So I decided to eat more even if I’m not hungry. And do some exercises but it’s going to be hard if I get another job in the mornings. I have to wake up at 5.45 am and got home at 3.00 pm. usually I have to start around 5 pm at my other job and finish around 9.30 pm. But I’ll try, even now I’m writing in the train, because I don’t have time.

As part of my cleaning I’m doing meditation again, amazing I really need it. Ok people. C’ ya next week

XOXO  -A- 

got the flu

This days I've been feeling super lazy, maybe because I got the flu. I felt like watching TV shows in bed while eating...wow that sounds like a fat girl, but I'm not, I'm 48 kilos... means no fat! I feel confusing about my weight, sometimes I look myself in the mirror and I found me disgustingly skinny and sometimes I look my belly and it looks like I'm pregnant, but I am not. One thing is for sure this fuc### society has screwed up my head. So backing to the flu. That didn't stop me to go out on Saturday night I went to a bar with my friend Tanzina, had a great time but got tired early and decided to go back to bed around 11.30... hey pretty good for a sick person.
On the other hand I've been working on my portfolio, for the first time in my life I'm able to view a whole collection on my head. I got to much ideas. Cant wait to put some color on my sketches (I am able to say I got some inspiration on the catching fire movie and the divergent movie) but cant really show my ideas on a blog. After all... ideas means money. The reason Im so happy is because for the first time on my life I can say I found some designs that actually represents me, I feel proud.
I'm still looking for an extra job. This season is hard, I thought it was just me but my friend Maz has the same problem. Is start to get cold my Melb so I will need some warm jacket... well I have but it not for rain and has no hood.
I've been bit lazy as I told before so no writing this week, I am writing a novel about a group of young unemployed people. Well until the next time...XOXO  -A-

Here again!

I am here again. I didn't write not because I'm lazy (which is also a truth) but because I was without my laptop! I' ve been trough a lot... not in the mood to write about it... but quickly recap: break up, living in Mel again, new job, new house.... basically new life. So this year I'm going to take it to my future, u know I never really thought about my future for more than 2 days in a road. Kinda I was living in the moment and then... who cares. Well... I care now. So I want to be a designer, I began my studies for a reason (then loss track) now I want to be back on track.
Melbourne felt awful the first days because my jet  lag... I feel emotionally weak every time. But my friends were with me and that always helps. Sooo.... I'll be updating this more often for sure! c' ya. xoxo A-

medical exams finished!

Yes, I did it, I finished with that, you should saw me sitting in the waiting area, aww I was so nervous not because I thought anything could go wrong, because that means a I'm going back really soon. And now I started to think about all the things I have to do before going: luggage, presents, blah, blah including my brazilian wax...ouch! so I thing is what I'm going to do the next days. Yesteday I had a really long day, nice but long. Now I will sit back and wait. I think I will get my tickets on monday! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first

This is the last part of my trip here in Argentina, I'm really exhausted about this. Tuesday I will finish with my medical exams so I can get the answer from the australian goverment to go back to Melbourne. Yes I lived in Mel for 9 months before coming back to my country. Now I going back to Mel to study and work as well. My dream is work in the film industry as a costume designer, I'm already a fashion designer.
I know for sure I will spend christmas here... I hate the idea, but maybe I'm lucky and I can spend New years eve in Mel with my friend Maz... she is amazing! I will pray for this time go soon... and one day (really soon) I can imagine myself in the airport with my luggage and ... well, in my head,this is the way it has to be: I am arriving I can see my hands in my big red luggage, I am wearing a grey shirt and my red jeans, and nobody is waiting for me (this is the way I want it) and I just take my things with me and I start to walk to the sun. well... is short but detail. The thing is... I tried to write before, I am really good but I have a problem... I run out of ideas pretty easy so I give up inmediatly. But I never try to write about my life in Mel that I found fantastic specially cuz I like to try new things so.... this is my first post. I hope you like it and oh my love life is definitly not included... I don't know you people!